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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in bazilla's LiveJournal:

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Monday, November 14th, 2005
3:52 pm
myspace eat puny LJ!
Don't delete me? plaas halp. plaaas.

Current Mood: anxious
Sunday, August 14th, 2005
12:06 am
Whew. Back from Thailand when I should have been writing but wasn't. Now I've got nutin' to report on but all the time and apathy in the world to report it with. I've actually been home for almost two weeks but Rebecca has been hanging around Winston on an extended stop in her Tampa job search. Idle time hasn't really been scarce, but I feel bad tippy-tapping with her in the room reading or something. Why?
Had an awful moment of cognitive dissonance when I was backing supertruck out of my driveway, in reverse, and at the same time tried to advance the cd player, forward, to the next track (Lengthwise to Maze on Phish's Rift, if you're curious). Talk about a train wreck, right between my ears. For a split second I had no thoughts, the two opposing commands struck each other midway, two bullets colliding in mid-arc a-la Face/Off. I feel like theres a stimulating conversation here. Anyone wanna have it?
In other news, I'm in Winston waiting to hear from Universal about a possible job, though I've no idea what the job is, only that I want it becasue it is in Orlando. Another interesting conversation. Someone recomend a book for me to read.

Current Mood: awake
Monday, July 4th, 2005
12:54 pm
Anyone else just feel a little copper ball from nasa slam into a comet several hundred million miles away?

Current Mood: calm
Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
2:17 pm
Day 12
Still sick. Food is a memory and we ran out of water two days ago...
The novelty of being sick is wearing off after a week and a half. That and last night miss megan did some pretty awful things to me. "...if I only had a brain"

Current Mood: depressed
Sunday, May 8th, 2005
11:09 pm
Spring Dizzy
I am certain of it now: had one day in my life gone a specific way, I'd be a modern dancer now instead of a Theatrical Technician. Today I struck the last show of my career at ncsa (for now, bitches). Spring Dance was a truly good show. The opening ballet piece was good for making fun of and short enough to be forgotten. Megan's modern piece was fierce. Don Q was even watchable. And the last modern dance was done to four Brubeck songs so hoo-hah. To tired to finish; more later. THAILANDER!
Friday, April 29th, 2005
8:45 pm
the future
the future can be as veuge as the construct a couple of people spend three-and-a-half years building, or as novel as updating ones journal while sitting in the fourth row (center) of the NCSA Stevens center downtown, almost feeling the modem static pass over my nerve endings as a cover lappy with my hands. In both cases and nearly all others, the future has been planted. I'm affesting my future by picking which fertile soil to watch.

Current Mood: awake
Friday, April 22nd, 2005
1:42 am
Laying in the hammock she says, "sleep in, have a dream". This is meant to preserve the intangible sensation felt in a hammock at night with a square peg, our lives for a moment the same round hole. Dream I shall.

Current Mood: deer chasin'
Monday, April 11th, 2005
7:32 pm
Together at last
Once again, I feel like we are at the threshhold of convienence. This post comes not from trusty Fort James, my bastion of Open Diary chronicling, spoiler-list reading, email, scantily clad girls, and more Diablo than I am comfortable tallying. As time flows like a river, and history repeats, I have given someone elses tired and weary pentium III laptop another chance at greatness. Rechristened (fuck your spell check) Lappy 650 (after the brisk processor speed). This beater which I had intended to make fun of is oh so close to being the ultimate information appliance. New technology will bring the following much-needed advances:
Prepetual motion for batteries that are good for something.
Widespread carbon fiber chassis. Lappy is portable not exactly non-leathal in a flying through the ether kind of way.
Everything else is kind of icing. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to be able to play unreal tournament with infinite ammo while on the road but that sort of thing is falling into the past like lappy out of an open window. The one rub: AutoCAD. I haven't tried to load it up yet and I'm afraid. 3D is probably out of the question, but I could deal. Doom II runs like a champ.

Current Mood: complacent
4:07 am
Days like these
Mowed the lawn, hung out with Rebecca despite whatever. Washed doggies, bought them retractible leashes and used them in Bethabera with Megan. Read a lot of Blink. Learned Thai. Got drunk with Megan and Jay at Montereys. Got crunk at Salem Lake. Got more crunk at a golf course near Salem Lake. Amplified tension all around. Talked about art and modern dance at length. Denied a girl a ride at the Peters creek BP station. Chain smoked and picked Megans brain about her piece on a secluded porch.
Our relationship is unhealthy on the outside; it's red on the inside. word.

Current Mood: wired
Tuesday, April 5th, 2005
12:37 am
What makes a good day?
What makes a good day? Buying a blunt and a rose at the convienence store. Seeing art and making art that moves you in the same day. Meeting mc chris. Standing naked in front of strangers and thinking of money and Thailand. Finding special hinges that were practicaly a magical item in this dungeon of my life. Good days is these.

Current Mood: happy
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
10:50 am
Spring what?
Spring Term is not even an obstacle between me and the rest of my increasingly interesting life. It's set up as something to occupy my time until I can go to Thailand. And also to give me a valid reason to stay at NCSA until Boxzilla is finished. Things could be better in places, I'd love to date Megan for example (no secrets) but thats not in the cards. I'd like to have a job lined up, but I do have a place to crash in Orlando for a few months and a decent job to build a little capitol until I hit the ricky road. Spring Dance? Flock it. I would put it on par with organizing a two-keg party. Which will actually be the hardest part of my job for the show. Thailand looms. My only anxiety is having enough time to explore and take day trips. I don't need the credit; Webster just has to like me enough not to deport me before the program ends. Maybe this is where I release a little pent-up irresponsibility.

"Why, the King of Siam- thats the lead!"

Current Mood: calm
Sunday, March 20th, 2005
9:14 am
Sunnier than Orlando
Job fair left me in a strange place. I didn't get a job (not like I wanted one from one of those two-bit scenery hacks anyways) but I did have pretty good conversations with some guys in the industry about the value of a graduate degree. It's a first-rate tightrope act however one slices it: experience counts more when you are right out of the gate, but a few years down the line the degree opens the real doors for you. Most of what we do one can pick up on the road, so to speak, but Automation is more technical and less theatre so it would take a pretty ideal job to get a similar education out of school. And then there is the idea of two more years of the NCSA way. But automation is such a new field that changes from month to month (always up though) its hard to say what the right choice is for anyone. Or hard to say that what I learn about at NCSA won't collecting dust on Ebay by the time I'm ready to use my education. Big mess. Anyway, after a great talk with ol dad, more school looks unlikely next year. Personaly, I still believe I'll end up in a classroom in the next three years, but the arguement is (and I proudly came to it of my own free will (so far as I can tell)) that a year or two agressively looking for a stimulating job can only help me. As long as Jack doesn't retire.
That being said, the short list is: Cirque, Steve Wynds (or whoever) in Vegas, or Fisher Technical (also in Vegas). Until then it's unlikely I'll find a beter job than gutting fish at Animal Kingdom so I'll move back to Florida and stick with that. All of this hinges on the idea that I will get a job and not just burn a year working at Disney in Orlando and not sleeping with high school students. So it goes.
In other news, just took a holiday on an island in the sun with Ben, Andy and lil Nik. Rebecca was there too but didn't interact much with the other boys. The destination was Long Key state park, about halfway down the keys in sunny south Florida. We drove down on Monday with a Canoe gingerly straped to the top of Supertruck. If you'd asked me to call some odds on the canoe making it there and back again, I'd have given the old bastard about 30%. Rebecca and I were pretty sure we'd flushed all of the carpenter ants out of the wooden transom in the back of the thing, but upon launching it from our campsite (on the beach, thanks), discovered another 88 million of them. At least they don't bite. By the by, no-see-ums are worse than mosquitos because they bite just as much and- you guessed it, they are pretty hard to see. Aside from a half-day trip to a very small piece of International Drive that was magicaly transported to Key West, we stayed at camp, mostly playing in the tidal flats and reading in my allstar hammock between our civilized meals. Other highlights include: improvising a hammock stand from a fencepost, supertruck and some construction debris, that crazy 40 year old architect in the next camp that kept trying to strike up a conversation with us, seeing a stingray while canoeing with Rebecca that has probably taken the lives of many brave sailors, seeing as many stars as I ever have, burning our furniture on the last night, seeing the ocean winds nearly capsize Ben and Andy's tent one morning with them still inside, and finaly, sharing a shot of tequilla with the sunset (cause noone else would). On Spring Break. On the beach. In the Keys. Also read some of The Unbearable Lightness of Being and thought about Megan a lot. So it goes.

Current Mood: content
Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
12:02 pm
Flockudrama Paper
Hotmail is off having sex with firefox or something and not working so I can't email the first third my paper to myself to get it to school. Read it if you want but I wouldn't. heh.

James Erwin
Docudrama – Dean Wilcox
March 4, 2005
Second Paper
Docudramas are difficult things to produce well. A straight documentary has the benefit of having an extreme to adhere to: only fact, as accurate and complete as it is practical to make it. A docudrama has other masters to which it must attend; in addition to conveying factual information, the events should be packaged in such a way as to make it both engaging to watch in a way that a raw list of facts cannot be, and to paint a context in which the events can occur. The question arises: why produce a docudrama at all? Docudramas tend to follow stories of the human spirit, whether it is elevated, oppressed, taxed, cut short or otherwise. Stories of human struggle make better docudramas than documentaries because of the personal treatment a docudrama can give to a topic. This freedom to frame an issue so as to make it more accessible to the public is the greatest asset and the greatest liability of a docudrama.
There exists a fine line between selecting the events neccisary to outline an issue effectively and selecting them specifically to support a certain point of view. This line even changes depending on who one is and where one is standing. Biased reports can be difficult to argue against or even spot because they draw on the same reality as the fair and balanced ones. The line a docudrama walks hinges on the framing, and there are several angles to go about it.
Many docudramas make a point of being so deliberately unbiased, despite dramatizing an issue with emotion, that it can be frustrating for the audience. In the face of horrifying events, a seemingly uncaring monolith of a play makes atrocities seem that much worse. As the source of our information, the audience comes to think of the play as a sort of authority or authority figure and longs for the one entity in the room with a little control of the situation to do something about it, even though everyone is aware the script is written, the lines are memorized and the cues are set. This lack of emotion effectively charges and audience member with an amplified sense indignation about the issue; the authority of the play temporarily replaces the authority of an uncaring world. An audience feels as though, in the theater, they are the only one who cares about the topic being presented and hopefully transfers that fervor to their actions after the play ends.
The Investigation is one such play. The subject matter is about as appalling as it comes and the playwright could not have a more hands-off approach to it. Throughout the play, audiences are frustrated by the deluge of technical information that clogs the true intention of the story. The trial is kept as sterile as possible; this is a nearly impossible balancing act since the intensity and sheer volume of human emotion surrounding the story scream through the statistics but are rarely acknowledged. The playwrights intention, of course, is not to present a litany of figures and dates to his patrons; The Investigation relies more on what is not said playing with audiences’ expectations to make its point.
At the other end of the spectrum, a docudrama might immerse its target in a world that is such an undistilled ideal of an idea or feeling, one cannot help but absorb the feeling of the work through osmosis. Facts can take a back seat in this sort of work, but that tends to be alright; this variety of touchy-feely docudrama isn’t so much concerned with conveying a specific series of events, though it might for a vehicle, as it is painting a floor-to-ceiling picture of an intangible feeling. The docudrama is structured similarly to a straight play by generally telling a story with a beginning, middle and end. The difference comes in the treatment. Characters will often address the audience directly as the character, or not, or from the future in a moment of retrospection that helps put the “standard” action of the play in the context the playwright uses to convey the intangible emotion. By presenting a well-chosen story and qualifying it with

Current Mood: aggravated
1:43 am
First Call
Cats went up and down like that. Big show, well engineered to be assembled by 20 stagehands that had never seen it before...inspiring. I don't like the idea of touring, but I like the good ideas it wrings out of clever people.

Current Mood: happy
Monday, February 28th, 2005
12:35 am
So I hung out with Rebecca all weekend, sandwiched between the set up and strike of an Oscar party in the Giant Cock of the Winston-Salem skyline, the Wachovia building. Friday night was an eventful meeting of the TD class and, a couple moco guys and one drunk and confused grad scene designer. We had a good long talk about the state of the program since the grads think it is unacceptable and the undergrads resent the new grads getting better production assignments. There are, as always, varried degrees of anger. But, to my surprise, we made a pretty long list of concrete greivances about the TD program at NCSA. To my chagrin, I emerged as MC for the night, but it was good. A couple beers and I was happy to be leading the group. Arthur's brother Willis was in town too. Played a lot of darts. Saturday Rebecca and I hit the flea market I worked on my road box pitch for the dean for a few hours and we went to Spring Dance, which rocked harder than usual becasue of visiting "Hubbard Street2". Saw Jay and Megan but didn't make it over to them, though I wanted to. Sunday found us going to Sams (the one by my house isn't as good) and then off quick to Yoga, where I did my first yoga headstand posture, and then to Gross Indecency in the Arena. That play also rocked hard; it was smartly written and performed at a fast pace and performed well. The director was an alumnus and the cast really got it. I feel sorry for Oscar Wilde. Quick break and we made downtown to babysit the scaffolding for this Oscar party and strike it at 11:30 (hurry up Clint). I like her but I don't think it's going to last much longer. Spring Break will be nice, but I am starting to think she's not for me right now. Probably keep sleeping with her.

Current Mood: wrung out
Sunday, February 13th, 2005
4:01 pm
getting angry
So I'm still brooding over this complex, inaccessable and expensive method by which innovation enters our society. Two thirds of new patents in this century came from people not companies, the ISC rep tells me. Fine. How many of those are some crackpot tinkerer who has an inheritance to burn and a 5-axis router to machine parts? I want to know the ratio of implemented patents: corporations to individuals. I also want to know how that ratio has changed from 1915 through 1990. I bet the individual has been losing ground [SoPacific Island Nation]. This whole system blows. Jay Lopez. For low-grade reefer. It makes it much easier for drones working for IBM (or Cirque...) to throw out any flocking idea to the company who will do its own feasability study with its own lawyers and statisticians with no real risk. I feel like it is no longer about imagination so much as reasources. True, the inventions that matter, like adjustments to jet engine design will have to come from the top down, but there is a void in the "stupid silly ish" department that will not be filled. I don't know what I was expecting, but anger wasn't a part of it.
As an aside, this mess was never designed; it evolved out of capitolism and the corporate world getting really drunk at a party and hitting it off.....

Current Mood: wrung out
3:37 pm
Idea for Sale
So I drive all the way out to Charlotte at 10 on a Saturday morning to meet with a rep from the Invention Submission Corporation (ISC) about an idea I'd like to market. I'm not really looking to get rich off of my idea, which is good since as it turns out, only about one invention in fifty makes money in the open market. I wasn't expecting to loose money for having a good idea. To boil down a long and useless story, it takes about $13,000 to get an idea in front of a large number of people and companies who are in a position to do something with it AND do so in such a way that Johnson & Johnson (or whoever) will not simply relieve you of your idea because it has not been proven, built, or patented and as such doesn't actually belong to anyone. But the morning was not a total loss. I learned some unpleasant things about making money as a private innovator. For one, about two-thirds of the products in the world right now are not patented. To attempt to patent them would risk infringing on existing (but different) patents. This being said, it is easier to go ahead and produce something, say a tape measure with a laser sight on it without patenting it; to attempt to make the laser idea uniquely yours would bankrupt your company in legal fights. Some things just aren't unique enough to protect. The flip side is this, no one else can patent that useful, marketable idea either. So, as long as you can make them better, cheaper or more durrable, Home Depot will buy cases of your product. This is good. If things like that could be patented, we'd all be limited to one brand of multitool or one brand of shock-absorbers for our cars. Bad for innovators though, since it takes at a minimum $1,000 to find out your idea is not novel enough; and if it is, throw in another $2,000 and three years wait to get that patent. Then go knocking on Pfizer's door.
Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
10:19 am
Laid out like that
Winter Opera is over. Winter is over. The rest of this year is truly what I make of it since no challenge will arise from class or crew. Being shop cop for a month is a customs house job if I've ever seen one. I sleep, read tool magazines, daydream about Kelly, sign an odd item out of the hardware cage every now and then for a show, daydream about Rebecca over in the paint deck, educate myself on howstuffworks.com (awesome awesome), daydream about my road box and daydream about Thailand. Things are really going to pick up Spring term when I TD Spring Dance! The enthusiasm was forced. Thats far from a complaint, as I'll get another flashy show on my resume without having to do much paperwork, mostly interpersonal stuff. The real distractions are the engineering and construction of BoxZilla and keeping my fingers crossed for a little Thailand financial aid. Steve Lorick probably has a 55k+ job with cirque in Vegas the will get him to leave school early if the call comes. I wish I had that kind of nerve; still, I'm convinced I can do better for myself if I'm patient and develop my skills a little more. Maybe even make a contribution to society. And not like a "help a community theatre company rig a preschool Babes in Toyland set for peanuts cause Dennis guilted me into it by not seeming too excited about filling out a Study Abroad recomendation". I'm thinking real contribution here. Three-sided zipper bags in every fridge!

Current Mood: mischievous
Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
9:31 pm
It's Ice
Is that ice?
Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
2:35 am
Drunk again
The choices we make. I choose to get hit on. I choose which shot to take in pool. I choose not to do coke in the bath room (I don't really even drink coke anymore rofl). I choose not to follow pancoast home. I stay in the bar and play pool with Howard and wonder what choices I made or put off that got me exactly where I am right now and I understand that nothing is without a consequence. Coronasaurus will wreak havok on Thailand one way or another.

Current Mood: crunk
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